Wednesday, April 3, 2013

How will others remember you when you're gone? #Heaven #Death #Rebirth #Family #Soul #Spirit

Our lives are so very intricate. We meet so many people throughout our lives. If you're like me, you may have had to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. And even all the frogs aren't so bad. They just don't belong in your pond.

I was married before, for 8 years. The best part of my failed marriage was my father-in-law. He was a brilliant man who welcomed me into the family with open arms. We got along so well that I became his secretary at the engineer firm where he worked. Through the years, he gave me advice and was a true, trusted friend. But more than that, he was a joy to be around. I loved to listen to the stories of his life and listen to Frank Sinatra songs with him. He was always such a great support to me and the worst part about getting a divorce was losing touch with him. I always thought of him through the years. Five years passed and I finally met the man of my dreams. I continued to think of my father-in-law and wish him well, wondering how he was and wanting only the best for him.

Odd thing was, shortly after my divorce, he too left his wife, my former mother-in-law. Just up and left. He took a vacation without her and just never came home. I knew he was also miserable and I was very secretly happy for him. We seemed to have a bond in the fact that we had finally left our misery behind, saying NO MORE!

The last time I saw my former father-in-law, I had not published my first book yet. Wasn't close to being a published author yet. I had written my first book but it sat in a desk drawer collecting dust. In fact, I don't even think I told him I'd written it. That was 1998. My first book was released in 2007, nine years later.

I was so sad to hear of his passing this month and talked to a wonderful family member of his who told me that my father-in-law had always cared so much for me and was proud of me, particularly proud of my career, proud I'd left my abusive husband and proud I'd become a successful writer.

I had no idea that he thought of me through the years, that he knew I'd written many books and it touched me like you cannot imagine. I really wish I could have seen him one more time before he died and thank him for his kindness, his guidance and his love. I hope he knows how very much I cared for him and that he always has a special place in my heart.

It got me thinking of how others will remember us when we're gone and reminded me that we should tell everyone we love how very much they mean to us. We only have so much time on this earth.

Life is short. Death separates us for a while but I truly believe we all come together again one day. Go tell your loved ones how much you love them, why you love them and spend some time with them. Make more memories. Laugh more. Hug more. Kiss more. Even your enemies or past friends, those you've lost touch with completely. Pick up that phone or write that letter and tell them what you loved about them, rekindle that friendship, get in the car and make that drive so you can look them in the eye and embrace them. Forgive them. Let them forgive you. For all of it.

How will others remember you when you're gone? Are you still breathing as you read this? Do it. You're out there. They're out there. For now. Time is ticking by. Don't waste another day. Regret isn't a pretty thing. But love is. Go spread some.



Cathy McElhaney said...

Wow! How moving! I hope I am remembered as a good person. I try to do what is right and apologize when I have been in the wrong.

I am so sorry for the loss of a good man and know that some day you will be reunited!


Alisha said...

Thank you, Cathy. You will be remembered as a very good person! You've always been there for me, through thick and thin! You're a very loved wife, mother and grandma. It is easy to see how much everyone loves you. xoxoxo